sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
