Who did Billy Mays play for?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
