Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
