I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
