She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
