Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
