sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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