operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
