im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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