She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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