At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
