Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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