The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
