I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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