Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
