Those balls look pretty dangerous.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
