I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I think I sprained my soul last night
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize