You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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