I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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