you guys were way drunker than both of me
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
