Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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