The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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