I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
