White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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