Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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