I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Where is the hickey?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
