don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
