she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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