we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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