I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
