I am puke
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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