awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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