he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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