It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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