I wish my penis had an off switch
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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