using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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