is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
