i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize