I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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