just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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