Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
