Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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