You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
