shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
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