I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
