Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
