Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
two words...techno handjob
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
