he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
