I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
