So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
