I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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