you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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