So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
i think my cat just said my name.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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