omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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