We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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