Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
operation harelip BJ is a go
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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