You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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