he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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